You like my body

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 01:17:57 GMT

what if today was our last
the last chance we ever had to say
would we take advantage of what we have
before it was too late to say

all this means to us (and all this means to us)
everything we have (and everything we share)

if you walk out that door never to return how could i live with myself
so many regrets that i would have to face
things i could have changed and ways i could have shown you
how much i care

why, is it so hard for us to say the things we feel inside our hearts
let's take the moments that we have and remember everyday to say

all this means to us (all this means to us)
everything we have (and everything we share)

if you walk out that door never to return how could i live with myself
so many regrets that i would have to face
things i could have changed and ways i could have shown you
how much i care

i don't want to waste our days
i don't want to forget to say
i love you

-Greeley Estates "What If"

~SYN~

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 07:30:21 GMT

Time about I update this.

I miss Zack, I miss my band, I miss basically everything that used to be. I miss Jimmy a lot, too. I never see him even though he lives with me. ~~I can't help but think our relationship is going nowhere.~~ Maybe I should just let him go be with Matt and they can be a nice little family with their daughter. Maybe I could find a guy that would love me and always be around and that wouldn't be tied to someone so definitely like Jimmy is.

I don't even know what I am talking about anymore.

~SYN~

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 17:43:33 GMT

So it seems as if Avenged Sevenfold is falling apart. None of us talk to each other anymore and Zack lives states away. This thought is pretty much killing me, but there is nothing else that I can do. I started this all anyway.
Zacky's engaged :) I'm so happy for him.
Jimmy seems to be almost living with me, I can't get enough of that boy, I love him to death. ♥
Matt don't feel like I am trying to steal him away from you and your daughter, I would never dream of doing that.
I'm gonna go play some guitar or go out or something now.

~SYN~

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 03:14:00 GMT

SO yeah, nothing exciting has gone on really.
I finally saw Jimmy again, it was great.
Matt's baby is beautiful.
That's all for now.

~SYN~

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 04:49:48 GMT

Well nothing has gone on really. I haven't gone back to the band, though I plan on doing so in the near-near future, oh and Shads is pregnant with Jimmy's baby and that is tearing me up.
I am gonna go wallow in self-pity now.

~SYN~

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 14:45:12 GMT

I might come back, but now it seems that Zacky is leaving. I just don't know what is going on anymore, I really need to talk to the guys, like at once. I am sick of this "He really needs you, Brian, come back." bull shit, if I come back then I am coming back, so stop fucking pressuring me, it only makes me want to stay far far away.

~SYN~

Jimmy baby I love you, please wait for me.

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 07:15:00 GMT

I know I have already made a post tonight, but I think you all need to know this.

I have left the band

...for some obvious or maybe not so obvious reasons.

~SYN~

But I just want you all to know that I do not hate the guys, I still love them with all my heart, but I just can not be apart of their lives anymore.

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and most of all I loved

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 22:45:55 GMT

So there isn't much to tell...

Zacky is back, things seem weird between us, it is sort of scaring me. Jimmy is helping me though, thank god for that kid.

Yeah there isn't anything to say, I miss you guys, only a little bit though.

~SYN~

Oh ya, go buy Mest's new record 'Photographs'
It makes me even more emotional than I already am, haha.

It's that time again...

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 04:05:08 GMT

There isn't really anything to talk about, I am so anti social that I never get drama.

UM, Jepha and I bought womens lingerie and like posed, it was weird, but damn we looked sexy.
I haven't talked to Zacky a lot lately, so Rev and I have been hanging lots; not that I am using you as entertainment Jimmy, you know I love you.

damn we were fucked up
can you say ffffaded? I love you Revvy poo! ♥

look at those sexy sweat stains
I got this, obviously, hot pic from http://groups.msn.com/A7X4LIFE/shoebox.msnw so go there and look at hot pics of all of us.... and jerk off.
I love you Zacky bear, hehe that's a cute name, I am gonna call you that from now on ♥

Okay that is all for now.
~SYN~

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 04:37:14 GMT

Time to update, blah.

Tour starts Friday, that is two days for you slower people.

I need to go visit Mikey and his baby boy.

Dane Cook is funnier than shit, you all should go buy his comedy album.

I got a blue mini ipod, finally!

Zacky is still sick, which makes me want to just scream, because I feel bad.

♥ I still love Zacky ♥

♥ I will always love Zacky ♥

I have a head ache so I think I am gonna go to sleep now

~SYN~

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 05:13:48 GMT

Well hello all, it is time I update this again.

Zacky is sick and I feel so bad/guilty, because it is my fault, so Nurse Gates to the rescue, Nurse Synyster just does not sound comforting enough. Haha he can't smoke until he is better, but I gotta give it up whenever he wants, a deal is a deal, he is gonna be really pissy cuz of the lack of nicotine. Anyone have a skimpy nurses outfit I can borrow? *wink**wink*

Um Jimmy is now with Shads, which is cute, mini Reverends will be running around soon hitting each other with drum sticks; cuz I have a plan, including their condoms and a safety pin. 2020 my ass Jimmy!
And now we just have to find someone for Johnny and it will all be good.

Tour starts a week from tomorrow, first show in San Diego, it should be kick ass, and I don't have to be away from my boyfriend, which makes everything a million times better.

I know I had something else to say, but I forgot, oh and I got no reviews for my last update so I guess you all find nothing wrong with homophobia, interesting. And this turned out to be longer than I thought it would.

~SYN~

I <3 you, Zacky

homophobia is gay...

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 05:34:14 GMT

Okay so kind of a lot has gone on.

Well I told Zacky what I did, twice, god I hate myself for it, some of you know what I am talking about some of you don't, and Shadows I know you don't, and please wait for me to tell you, if you don't already realize what it is. Well ya I told him and we both sort of broke down, it was probably the worst thing that I have ever gone through. I would do anything to take it back and well yeah, I would do anything to take back what I have done to Zacky. I am just glad that he forgave me, even though I am sure that he won't be able to trust me again, but as long as he still loves me and we are still together I can not ask for anything else.
And I don't think that I can hang with Jeph anymore.

Then after that I finally gave Zacky the beagle puppy that I bought a few days ago when Joel and I went to the mall, the look on Zacky's face was priceless, he named him Chex, I swear the dog is almost as adorable as Zacky, how hard is that to imagine?!

Well after Zacky and I did some unmentionable things we went for a walk to the park with Chex, and the old people and everyone else were staring at us it made me really uncomfortable. Then we threw pennies into the fountain and each made wishes, it was really cliche and sappy, but hey it's okay to be sappy sometimes.

So after that we went to PetSmart to buy Chex things that he needs and by then the night was treating all of us pretty nicely, until our walk home.
It was like 6:30 and it had already gotten dark outside and these three guys came up behind us calling us faggots and pansies(we were like hanging on each other) and they started to like threaten us and shit and then just like that a fight broke out. We basically lost, I was seriously ready to kill them for putting a hand on Zacky and I would have if I was able to and if I ever see them again I will. So yeah my ankle is twisted and my face and stomach are all bruised up, Zacky isn't much better with his split lip and bruises. You should all stop by my house to check up on us.

Leave a comment if you think homophobia is fucked up, you all best leave one since I know you all like the cock.
But now I am going back to bed cuz Zacky is in there and he is so snuggable.

~SYN~

Zacky, you mean the world to me; I love you baby, I'll never hurt you again

Zacky...

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 05:41:04 GMT

He's so beautiful and I love him and even if he doesn't love me I will always love him no matter what happens between us. And I now know that I can lose him in the blink of an eye and that kills, I will do everything that I can to keep us together. I will die if I ever lose him, literally, I know I will.

~SYN~

ps. I swear no one ever comments me or anything :(

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 03:34:41 GMT

Okay so about my last entry, I am not so sure if you should be adding us together anymore. I mean I said 'I love you' and he didn't say it back and then I guess I got pissed and then he got drunk and I don't know what is going on anymore, but I clearly remember saying, 'then maybe we shouldn't be together'

~ SYN ~

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 23:36:22 GMT

Okay so I am still sick, but getting better, because Zacky is making me take the nasty meds that the doctor gave me, but he told me once I get better we can do whatever I want *wink**wink*
Oh and Zacky and I plan on growing old and wrinkly together, and we are gonna yell at 12 year olds who go in our lawn

Zacky, come on who wouldn't be happy to have him?!

+

Me, damn I'm sexy

=

Zacky&Brian, he means the world to me

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 05:19:29 GMT

Okay so everyone is sick, well except Rev and Zacky, lucky bastards.
Shads really gave us a scare, he had to be brought to the hospital, but he is supposed to be okay, I don't even think Rev knows about that.
and I had to go to the doctors too, but Zacky came with me so it was okay, and now I have medication and I should be getting better, so I can party it up.

~SYN~

And I am falling hard and fast for Zacky, I *heart* you babe.

my intro thingy...

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 23:37:32 GMT

So my name is Brian Haner (aka) Synyster Gates, I am lead guitarist and back up vocals in the band Avenged Sevenfold, better known as A7X(thanks to Zacky). I love my friends, band mates and family, they all mean the world to me, oh ya and my guitar.
Oh ya and I am single and lookin for love :) hit me up at devoted 2 syn

~SYN~